There is so much fear building in me.  My heart can't seem to take it anymore.  The excitement is passing and the dream fading.  The fear, my impending failures, hold me hostage in this personal prison I've created.  I try to break free... I try!  But my comfort rests between the sheets of my bed, eyes closed, snoring commenced.  I feel safe there, but as my mother once told me, "You can't always escape to your bed."  Things feel tough right now, they feel heavy.  I miss that excited girl inside me; the one who can't wait for school to being because it's something to be working towards, something to accomplish, something she was ready for.  But being trapped in this fear is squelching her.  I am trying to plod ahead without her, but something is gut-wrenching within.  I feel as if I'm mourning, but can't figure out what I've lost.  I sound so melodramatic!  I shall end this by saying, I have hope she will return to me, that she will find a way to be excited about life again.  My head may hang low, but my heart beats on.